Miscellany
RIP, Major Johnson
My friend Major Johnson lost
his battle with pneumonia and left this world far too soon (34 years
old), leaving behind his beautiful new wife, and I will miss him.
photo by
Aimée Huff
Random Bits
Trip Advisor 2007 Funniest Traveler
Comments
Dog Breeders Issue Massive Recall of
'07 Pugs
Nutrition and Health
Keep Life in Perspective
Haiku Error Messages for PCs
Trip Advisor 2007 Funniest Traveler Comments ( Jan 02, 2008)
Trip Advisor has issued a press
release of their funniest traveler comments from 2007. My favorites:
"I could have done without
the blood-stained mattress and the (actual) chunk of poop on my
bedspread, but I didn't expect the Hilton."
"Time could be spent
pondering over the meaning of some of the many safety signs around the
complex. Out of the several we managed to identify, the two we found to
be of greatest use were 1. Not to step on any crocodiles whilst bare
foot, and 2. No ugly, or spotty children to frequent the pool."
Read the entire press release
here.
Nutrition and Health
For those of you who watch what
you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to
know the truth after all those conflicting medical studies:
1. The
Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than
Americans.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer
heart attacks than Americans.
4. The Italians drink excessive amounts of
red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
5. The Germans
drink lots of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart
attacks than Americans.
Conclusion: Eat and drink what you like.
Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
Keep Life in Perspective
At age 4, success is not peeing in
your pants.
At age 12, success is having friends.
At age 16, success
is having a driver's license.
At age 20, success is having sex.
At age
35, success is having money.
At age 50, success is having money.
At
age 60, success is having sex.
At age 70, success is having a driver's
license.
At age 80, success is having friends.
At age 90, success is
not peeing your pants.
Haiku Error Messages for PCs
The Web site you seek..:namespace
prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />
cannot be
located,
but countless more exist.
Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.
Program
aborting:
Close all that you have worked on.
You ask far too much.
Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.
Yesterday it worked.
Today it is not working.
Windows is like that.
Your file was
so big.
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.
Stay the
patient course.
Of little worth is your ire.
The network is down.
A crash
reduces
your expensive computer
to a simple stone.
Three things are certain:
Death, taxes and lost data.
Guess
which has occurred.
You step in the stream,
but the water has moved on.
This page
is not here.
Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
but we never
will,
Having been erased,
The document you're seeking
must now be
retyped.
Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind.
Both are blank.
